Screw those stupid box headed daft bodies girls, and never mind those silly daft hands.
Check Out Master Yo-Yo boy here.
be ashamed of yourself for not having talent like that. Make sure you notice the amazing yo-yo collectiong behind him at times.
Because I was specifically told not to post this, You know I'm going to.
So to recap, here's a little summary courtesy of Matt:
matt: wanna watch the best video EVER!?!?
mayochup: yes!
matt: oooook
matt: don't you go bloggin all over it now like always Link
matt: jk
matt: koala!
matt: pony
matt: piunball
matt: phone
matt: maracas
matt: bongos
matt: harmonica
matt: bass
matt: accordian
matt: tables
matt: viola
matt: drum mic
matt: cannon cake
matt: frosting
Choke film review coming in a bit.
Inspirational Words from and American Icon, inspired by another.
For full transcription, click here
First of all, welcome to my new look. It took a little bit of tweaking and adjusting to get everything done, but I was able to get this and the blog I run for work up and running with only a few minor issues, with getting the ShareThis button to work as my biggest headache (still not working on the other blog). The templates at Blog and Web were a great help and very easy to manipulate and I suggest it for anyone tired of the limitations of their current blogger made ones.
Anywho, before deciding to make my own custom graphic for the top, I spent a couple hours going through all 50 something web page results for ninja pictures.
Boy oh, Boy, did I ever find some interesting things. Take this amazing picture for instance. There are actually crazy people out there who make their pets look like ninja turtles. wow.
Then, because we're all aware of how much I love shoes, there was this amazing find:
Freaking Ninja Turtle shoes! there are more pictures and stuff on the post at Kicks on Fire. Feel free to check them out and get them for me. heh.
Anyways, I should probably stop fucking off and get to work.
I'm hungry. Someone feed me.
Good old Matt handed this one off to me last night. A very good little number if I may say so myself. As I said last night,
me: i dont know what i like more, the song or the little skeleton fucker
matt: right?! it's so super awesome!
matt: ooh so I think I came up with a new alias...
A wonderful little slide show of what life is like in the O-town downtown circuit. Compiled by Jessi. Meet our friends.
I originally wrote this as a post for my other blog, Fuckin Shit Sucks which uses "so what if" a jumping point for complaints. It made me laugh a lot so i decided to repost it here. I'm sick as hell of this song, and I dont really want to hear it ever again.
enjoy.
You know what, good for you Kate. I'm proud that, unlike peaches, you decided to flaunt your wild side by telling us all about the time you kissed a girl, and you liked it. It was really a very wise decision on your part. Especially considering how you look exactly like her. Not being a total bitch about how you love the pussy, even tho you love the cock was a smart move, I can assure you of that.
Still, If I had to choose between your buttery good-girl-turned-lesbo-tramp-on-a-saturday-night-from-drinking-too-much and peaches go-fuck-yourself attitude, the bitch would be tops on my list of black haired songbird girlies i'd wanna make out with.
And don't like, you didnt like it. What you liked is the attention you get from singing about it. The money you get from whoring out your remixes.
Unless you're actually Zoey Deschanel's alter ego, get off the radar.
If you are Zoey Deschanel's alter ego, then good job at being a total failure to your reputation.
If I had to choose only three things in the world that i would be allowed to purchase for the rest of my life, they would be pizza, shoes and music. If i had to chose from a list of artists to pick my favorite, Aesop Rock would have a running lead.
You know, those artists that define your adolescence, or really represent an era in your life that defines who you are now? well, that's Aesop for me, whose music defined my teen years and decided many of my travel plans from 2000-2006.
Now, me and shoes, we have something special going on. I'm broke all the time, but the little bit of money i do have, If I'm not dishing it out for something to furnish my home, goes towards shoes (or pizza).
Put my two loves together. and the result is gray and "eerie", and truly really coveted by yours truly.
ONLY 500 PAIRS MADE. AND I NOW OWN ONE OF THEM!!!
Thank you kevin. You are amazing. <3
***
From Upper Playground:
This Stan Smith shoe is the third release in the four-part adidaPublish Posts Originals sneaker series that also includes designs from fine artists Herbert Baglione, David Choe and Sam Flores.
Aesop Rock is an American hip-hop artist from New York that is known for his storytelling style of rap. He has collaborated with established entities such as Nike and painter Jeremy Fish on various projects, and he is excited to introduce his first sneaker design with Upper Playground.
Aesop Rock explains the design concept behind his Stan Smith sneaker: “The faded green and gold colors have a strange eerie-meets-regal vibe that I liked when designing the art for last year's None Shall Pass album. I wanted to continue that color scheme, and keep it pretty simple. I didn’t want anything too intrusive. Basically I just wanted something that I’d rock, and my mother might even wear them.”
***
While youre there, check out the new sam flores design set to drop on thursday.
yumz.
A while ago I made a post about all the strange little quirks that you could entertain yourself with on the vast array of Google site. Spending about 98% of my life in front of the computer, I have a lot of time to spend looking for more of these (often) useless treasure. I recently discovered even more Amazing Google secrets, similar to the ones I had listed in that older post.
The Pirate Encyclopedia
Dear Dad
Why Driving in Seattle is better than driving in Orlando
Creative ways to tie your shoes
Neato Picture
A Modern Day Romance, told through the Myspace News Reel
Now watch this amazing Video:
Or, if youre too amazed to sit through the whole thing, and are itching for a better version, watch this version.
Its gonna rain here again. Lame lame
The fourth of July in Key Byscayne was awesome. I got to eat delicious ham and potatoes. They had freakin smiley face fireworks and then heart fireworks that turned into penises as they drooped to their slow untimely demise. Even cooler, was that before the fireworks, we got an awesome lighting storm. humongous piercing stabs of light that made my mother run away from the balcony gasping like a cartoon elephant that saw a cartoon mouse in a cartoon circus car, in a cartoon movie.
it was funny and i giggled.
Tonight, i sit with the ladies in my living room, eating like pregnant heffers who haven't eaten for a long long time. its amazing. I now turn my attention to fine females and ignore the lot of you. sry, srsly.
In the mean Time, Enjoy These:
Tessar Lo - Neat ArtistFly Guy - Live Your Dreams
Before and After - How to design cool stuff
Neat photoshop tutorial
30 Questions MY Girlfriend Asks about StarWars
Now Katie brings me Ice Cream Cake, as we drink horrible wine, and thats my cue to go.
So this morning I get to work, and as is my routine when i do so, the first thing that i do, is pour myself a cup of coffee and walk out back to warehouse for my 'breakfast' smoke. Most days, this simple act is incredibly uneventful, and rarely merits mention in any of my conversations, let alone my writing.
What makes to today different you ask?
Well, when i opened the warehouse back door, staring up at me, from the floor, was a beautiful and serene albeit very dead dead bird. Its not exactly surprising that my new little avian friend met his match against our upper floor office windows (the crash spot smears were there to prove it), since 3.5 million birds die per year by crashing into windows and glass panes. And, no, the image is not the bird we found, because before i was able to take a picture, his feathery little carcass was thrown in our lagoon (why yes we do have a lagoon outback)and back into the circle of life as a hearty healthy meal for our little gators (yes, we have gators too).
Anywho, in case it hasn't been perceived yet, this post is absolutely pointless.
So to give it a point, Ill provide you fine readers with links and shit to some of the things that have been filling my life with joy and wonder, or whatever.
Fight Club: Pop-up Video Style
GraphJam - Fun with Graphs
Piss off your Junk Mailers
Full Arrested Devellopment Episodes
NOLAF
Cool Sculptures
Unexpected Photography
Turning firefox into a WA assault kit
Text to Mind Map Converter
neat.
Oh, and my favorite new image of the day:
I have a very active social life. Dating a nightlife photographer has its perks, and amongst those are free entry into nightclubs, drink coupons, and the pleasure of meeting about 50-60 new people every day. Of those I usually end up forming actual friendships with about 5 new people a week, most of whom I end up talking to online. I spend a lot of time on the computer, and am online pretty much all day long.
As a result, I often get asked if i have a job, if i work online and then what I do for a living. My answer, is simple and always the same:
"I sell airbrush tattoo systems and supplies".
Usually I'm met with the same response. Most people say "cool" but some people ask me to who or why. Getting asked 'why?' is my favorite of the responses. I seriously love my job. Not only are the people that i work amazingly fun to work with, bickering like a severely disfunctional family most of the time, rick-rolling the shit out of one another on a constant basis, but i deal with some of the coolest customers daily. Theme parks like Busch Gardens, Cedar Fair, and others, clowns that teach me how to ride elephants, carnies that make me candied apples, pigs in blankets and elephant ears, stores that sell crap for children, are just some of the clients that I talk to.
To top it off, i get to airbrush tattoos onto people and have fun while making my moola. When i first started, I seriously laughed at the entire concept. Sell airbrush tattoo they told me. My mind answered with "to who?" and "what tard would spend money on this shit?". A year later, Im well aware of who does, and why. Recently, I wrote an article about Airbrush tattoos that details why it is such an awesome thing.
Every generation has its very own fads and trends that entire groups of people seem inclined to follow. They come and go in a matter of weeks at time. Tattoos are a different kind of fad. An obsession more than a fashion trend, altogether, an art form, a lifestyle. Ironically, their popularity, instead of fading over time as most trends and fads do, has only becomes greater as technology allows for new, safer ways for people to mark themselves. However, there are still plenty of people who dismiss tattoos as an option for one reason or another. They have the desire, but lack in ability because of lifestyle or other factor that deters them from making the commitment
Enter cosmetology. There are many cosmetic forms of temporary tattoos available. The three primary forms are Henna, Water transfers and airbrush tattoos. Each method has its own distinct advantages and uses, as well as its own drawbacks. Henna, while providing a lasting temporary tattoo is difficult to use because its application requires extensive training, the henna itself, extensive preparation and it requires the subject to be forced to sit still for an extended period of time while the Henna paste dries. Waterslides do not give the look or the feel of real tattoos.
Airbrushing combines the look of a real tattoo, but without the permanency and with ease of application and a mass appeal. If you are looking to break into a business that is fun while being profitable, or looking for a something to add to your already existing business, or something to bring your family entertainment center into the new century, airbrush tattoos may be just the thing to consider. Airbrush tattoos typically last anywhere from 5-7 days, depending on the area of skin on which it is applied and the customer’s skin type, they look real, are quick to apply and easy to care for and are proven to generate unbelievable profits.
Body Art by Airtoo™, a company that specializes in the manufacture and sale of airbrush tattoo systems and supplies, that allow anyone to capitalize off the growing popularity of temporary or semi-permanent tattoos. Body Art by Airtoo™ has made it so that there is no artistic talent needed to man a tattoo system and give customers a reason to return.
Body Art by Airtoo™ uses modern technology to turn the art of airbrush tattooing into a practical, profitable, add-on business that can generate substantial revenue. With Turnkey systems, the company can offer an easy solution to an airbrush start-up. The systems operates effectively with minimal managerial supervision and training, allowing businesses in the theme park and amusement industries to be capable of generating high profit margins with little artistic talent. The all-in-one-package approach takes the guesswork out of starting an operation, and allows anyone to begin working with everything they need.
Body Art by Airtoo™ was developed to fill the void of quality and control within the airbrush tattoo industry. They stand alone as the leader in delivering cutting edge technology, unprecedented customer service, simplicity of use, a patented inventory control system (U.S Patent No. 7,249,712) which permits the operation of the business to be run by almost anyone and eliminates shrinkage. These stencils allow for crisp detail and precision application with minimal clean-up that makes the operation of and maintenance simple.
I started this post with all this intellegent bantor. It originally included my opinion on both Obama and McCain, shit on our failing economy and water powered cars. I was gonna write some college level aggregation of bullshit to fill the page. I guess I got bored with it quickly, because I felt zero regret when I ctrl+a’d half a page’s worth of nothingness with a large vocab and replaced it with this little ditty.
I’ve been stumbling a lot lately. Not like, walking down the street to your house I strip over my shoelace and do the dance of about-to-fall for 10 minutes while moving full speed towards the traffic at the nearest intersection and accidentally slipping in dog shit and landing on my fat ass stumbling, but stumbling. The Internet mesmerizes me.
Pixel Criminal mesmerizes me. Seriously bright, organic shapes and colors and gorgeous, almost feminine design.
So the pixel criminals, right. I see this blog they have, I read it, and I see someone who is making their life doing something that they love to do. And what am I doing? Selling airbrush tattoo systems to theme parks and FEC’s for Airtoo.
Sure its not the worse job ever, Its actually one of the best I’ve ever had, but it leaves me wanting more out of myself, like a teased lover.
So obviously, I’ve been seriously considering what to do about the future of my personal financial stability. Its very hard to predict what is going to happen to me in the course of my later years, and so many factors, economic stability, gar prices, foreign relations, that are bound to affect me, are beyond my control. So I’ve been giving serious thought about what I’m gong to do with this amazing brain and body that I was granted with for the rest of my days.
In the interim of these deep thoughts of mine, I find shit that is as awesome as NOLAF that im in love with and entertained by in equal parts and shit like File Magazine that tickles me in a sweet spot.
Anyways, here is a things to look forward to, in list format for the lazy:
· URL change – possible a domain name all my own?!?
· Awesome new layout – That I’ve been working on instead of working at work
· More links to cool shit
· More stories
· More poems
· More Delicious shit
· And maybe some pictures.
Sign Language - Found Matchbooks
And Now for More Fun:
New Web Pick
Strange Sculptures
Food Gawker
Graffiti Creator
Google Search
Search: WHO IS A FAILURE
Answer: President of the United States - George W. Bush
Search: French Military Victories
Im feeling lucky
Answer: Did you mean: french military defeats
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html
Search: Find Chuck Norris
Answer: Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
GOOGLE Calculator
Question: Answer to Life, Universe and Everything
Answer: 42
Question: mass of the sun?
Answer: mass of the sun = 1.98892 × 1030 kilograms
Question: mass of the moon?
Answer: mass of the Moon = 7.36 × 1022 kilograms
Question: mass of the earth?
Answer: mass of Earth = 5.9742 × 1024 kilograms
Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn = 43
Question: what’s the speed of sound at sea level?
Answer: speed of sound at sea level = 340.29 m / s
Question: number of horns on a unicorn multiplied by the answer to life, the universe and everything furlongs in yoctometres
Answer: number of horns on a unicorn multiplied by the answer to life, the universe and everything furlongs = 8.449056 × 1027 yoctometers
Question: number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: number of horns on a unicorn = 1
Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything
Answer: the answer to life, the universe and everything = 42
Question: What’s the answer to life, the universe and everything multiplied by the speed of light divided by three teaspoons?
Answer: (the answer to life, the universe and everything multiplied by the speed of light) divided by (three US teaspoons) = 8.51523874 × 1014 m-2 s-1
Question: how many seconds in a decade?
Answer: 1 decade = 315 569 260 seconds
Question: 14 to binary Answer: 14 = 0b1110 Question: e^((pi)*i)+1
Answer: (e^(pi * i)) + 1 = 0
Question: 15th root of 1024 Answer:
15th root of 1 024 = 1.58740105
Question: what is the golden ratio
Answer: the golden ratio = 1.61803399
Question: 1 smoot in feet
Answer: 1 smoot = 5.58333333 feet
Question: 1 cubit in feet
Answer: 1 cubit = 1.5 feet
Question: 1 hand in feet
Answer: 1 hand = 0.333333333 feet
Question: 1 span in feet
Answer: 1 span = 0.75 feet
Question: 1 flemish ell in feet
Answer: 1 flemish ell = 2.25 feet
Question: 1 fathom in feet
Answer: 1 fathom = 6 feet
Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: 43
Google Picasa
Ctrl+Shift+Y
Teddy Bears
Google Maps
Pegman
Christmas - Pegman becomes a snowman
Halloween -Pegman dons a witch costume; on
Valentine’s Day, Pegman stands on a heart instead of his usual green circle; and whenever Pegman sets foot on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, California - tie-dye-shirted hippie.
Google Mail
GMAIL Spam Folder
If you go to your Spam Folder in Gmail, you’ll notice that where you might expect to see an ad of some type, you instead see a recipe that features Spam as the main ingredient. Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches, anyone? Or how about Spam Quiche? For other gastronomical options that feature the pink slab, keep checking your Gmail Spam box.
Google Search Engines
http://www.600673.com/
http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/
Google Parodies
These search sites are not related to Google.
Google Gothic:
http://www.googoth.com/
Google Loco
http://www.googleloco.com
IE: Search so good, you don't even need to understand what you're looking for.
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