Always an Uphill Battle

I have dedicated the more conscious part of my life to make a good person of myself. I have always striven for the best of which I am capable, dreamed of owning a home, a two car garage, a dog, of vacations, or toys, of a comfortable lifestyle. Despite growing up surrounded by the rich and wealthy, despite growing up in a mediocre luxury, my goals have always been reasonable. I never wanted the 18 room mansion or the 3 bedroom yatch.

This weekend, though, I turned 25. And while the number represents nothing monumental on its own, it was, regardless of my facade of happiness, a deeply sad moment for me. Surrounded by friends and people that love me, I could only think of one thing:

I have failed.

I have failed as a daughter. At 25, I should be done with school, I should be close to offering my mother grandbabies to hold in her arms, I should be able to help beyond the little I do.
I have failed as a friend. At 25, I should have a myriad of people that consider me as such, but because I have high expectations, I lose friends like gamblers lose money. Because I come from a different mold, I drop people that have nothing to offer me quicker than I throw away old milk.
I have failed as a person, At 25, the mediocre mark of my success has barely been made, and it isn't without much scrutiny that you can find where I have left my trace. I am the same person i was 5 years ago, save with a little less debt, a little more common sense, but I assure you it is not for lack of trying.

I would be okay if I had not been trying to succeed in my life. But, I have tried my hardest to get these things accomplished. I did so well in school, so well at work, I taught myself too much. It is unfortunate that the people who dictate your success aren't the same people who wish you well, its a shame that the people who sign your paycheck make sure its the lowest possible amount to keep you sated.

I have plenty of friends without work. And this saddens me, because like me, these are people that have not slacked through their life taking hand outs. These are stable, dependable individuals that have, much like myself, been hurt but something outside of their control. They are individuals stuck in a rut. Employed and unable to more forward, or jobless, highly qualified and unable to find work

There must be a way to change this. I remember when i was a kid in south America, The US stood for so much. Now, 18 years later, it has been stripped of all that once glitters. Now, instead of a flourishing country with endless possibilities, it is a country of failing companies, and a pitiful economy. It is a country where people vote for the lesser of two evils instead of the candidate that is the most meritorious. It's outsourcing, it's money laundering, and it's greed.

What ever happened to everything I/you/we were promised? Why do we fight so much for such little reward?

I'm wondering now, is there anything left for the all me's in the US? is there anywhere left to go for gain? Is gain even still a fathomable possibility?