Video: The Website is Down

Video: The Rising Price of Meat

Good for a giggle.

Badass: Airbrush Tattoos and why I do what I do

I have a very active social life. Dating a nightlife photographer has its perks, and amongst those are free entry into nightclubs, drink coupons, and the pleasure of meeting about 50-60 new people every day. Of those I usually end up forming actual friendships with about 5 new people a week, most of whom I end up talking to online. I spend a lot of time on the computer, and am online pretty much all day long.

As a result, I often get asked if i have a job, if i work online and then what I do for a living. My answer, is simple and always the same:
"I sell airbrush tattoo systems and supplies".

Usually I'm met with the same response. Most people say "cool" but some people ask me to who or why. Getting asked 'why?' is my favorite of the responses. I seriously love my job. Not only are the people that i work amazingly fun to work with, bickering like a severely disfunctional family most of the time, rick-rolling the shit out of one another on a constant basis, but i deal with some of the coolest customers daily. Theme parks like Busch Gardens, Cedar Fair, and others, clowns that teach me how to ride elephants, carnies that make me candied apples, pigs in blankets and elephant ears, stores that sell crap for children, are just some of the clients that I talk to.

To top it off, i get to airbrush tattoos onto people and have fun while making my moola. When i first started, I seriously laughed at the entire concept. Sell airbrush tattoo they told me. My mind answered with "to who?" and "what tard would spend money on this shit?". A year later, Im well aware of who does, and why. Recently, I wrote an article about Airbrush tattoos that details why it is such an awesome thing.

Every generation has its very own fads and trends that entire groups of people seem inclined to follow. They come and go in a matter of weeks at time. Tattoos are a different kind of fad. An obsession more than a fashion trend, altogether, an art form, a lifestyle. Ironically, their popularity, instead of fading over time as most trends and fads do, has only becomes greater as technology allows for new, safer ways for people to mark themselves. However, there are still plenty of people who dismiss tattoos as an option for one reason or another. They have the desire, but lack in ability because of lifestyle or other factor that deters them from making the commitment
Enter cosmetology. There are many cosmetic forms of temporary tattoos available. The three primary forms are Henna, Water transfers and airbrush tattoos. Each method has its own distinct advantages and uses, as well as its own drawbacks. Henna, while providing a lasting temporary tattoo is difficult to use because its application requires extensive training, the henna itself, extensive preparation and it requires the subject to be forced to sit still for an extended period of time while the Henna paste dries. Waterslides do not give the look or the feel of real tattoos.
Airbrushing combines the look of a real tattoo, but without the permanency and with ease of application and a mass appeal. If you are looking to break into a business that is fun while being profitable, or looking for a something to add to your already existing business, or something to bring your family entertainment center into the new century, airbrush tattoos may be just the thing to consider. Airbrush tattoos typically last anywhere from 5-7 days, depending on the area of skin on which it is applied and the customer’s skin type, they look real, are quick to apply and easy to care for and are proven to generate unbelievable profits.

The company i work for, Airtoo, is pretty big in the niche market. My article, basically a form of publicity for the company and a way for us to advertise without advertise goes on to describe what makes us different, and essentially better.

Body Art by Airtoo™, a company that specializes in the manufacture and sale of airbrush tattoo systems and supplies, that allow anyone to capitalize off the growing popularity of temporary or semi-permanent tattoos. Body Art by Airtoo™ has made it so that there is no artistic talent needed to man a tattoo system and give customers a reason to return.
Body Art by Airtoo™ uses modern technology to turn the art of airbrush tattooing into a practical, profitable, add-on business that can generate substantial revenue. With Turnkey systems, the company can offer an easy solution to an airbrush start-up. The systems operates effectively with minimal managerial supervision and training, allowing businesses in the theme park and amusement industries to be capable of generating high profit margins with little artistic talent. The all-in-one-package approach takes the guesswork out of starting an operation, and allows anyone to begin working with everything they need.
Body Art by Airtoo™ was developed to fill the void of quality and control within the airbrush tattoo industry. They stand alone as the leader in delivering cutting edge technology, unprecedented customer service, simplicity of use, a patented inventory control system (U.S Patent No. 7,249,712) which permits the operation of the business to be run by almost anyone and eliminates shrinkage. These stencils allow for crisp detail and precision application with minimal clean-up that makes the operation of and maintenance simple.

Tattoos have been around for ages, adorned kings and warrior for decades, used as tools of identification, declarations of allegiance for years. But even though, as a trend, they have survived the test of time, that doesn’t mean that yours has to.

Call me, lets do business.
1-800-921-0229
melanie@theenhancegroup.com

Movie: Rocknrolla

A good friend sent me this preview today. I had never heard of it or seen anything about it until she did.

Rocknrolla, slated to come out some time in 2008 is an Empire film production starring (to name a few)Gerard Butler, Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Piven, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkinson and Ludacris.

According to Wikipedia, the premise is:
When a Russian mobster sets up a real estate scam that generates millions of pounds, various members of London's criminal underworld pursue their share of the fortune.

The preview makes it out to have something to do with a painting, which they mention like 37 times in the 3 minute trailer. Yet another movie i need to get a screener pass for.

Hummm, How to make this happen?

High Res Trailer - HERE

Poem: Hum

Hum

It tells me I will have to die, for just a minute,
To continue on living the way I do.
The way I want to.
It knows I keep it secret,
And it teases me with the laughter of children
Running circles around their mothers.
Those perfect happy families.

This decision is harder than it seems,
And it bothers us both more than we can say
To one another out in the open, it hides in our eyes.
But when we kiss, when you hold my hand
And tell me you love me, tell me it will be all right,
We both feel the presence of our creation.
The hum of it is deafening,
Speaking silently from within me.
My unknown secret, unthinking, a life in my hands.

Leaning against the cold tiles in the bathroom
Lights off, in the dead of night,
Head spinning in the silence
I move my hands from my head to my belly
And try to ease my hectic mind.
This is my continuing internal battle.
I can’t seem to find the middle ground
Between relief and regret.
Convinced I can hear a heartbeat
That does not yet exist.

Hoping desperately that some calm voice
Will save me from these screaming fears,
From the deep silence of the night.
A hand to wipe my tears from my face and
Give me strength to make me follow through with my choice.
Even if it’s only in the temporary safety of that moment,
Bring me peace.

I’m hoping I don’t break, don’t falter,
Hoping I don’t keep my eyes open when I try to sleep,
To shut the hum out when I feel guilty,
To keep from dreaming once it’s over,
To not wake screaming in the night.

© Melo ‘05

Music: Neon Coyote

Oh yes.

The boys from Neon Coyote have done it again.

Jay-Z ft. Pharrell-I Know (Neon Coyote Remix)

Neon Coyote Myspace

Movie: Burn After Reading

CIA agent Osbourne Cox (John Malcovich) just got fired from the CIA and is writing his memoirs. The disc containing the memoirs is found in the female locker room at the gym, where it was left by mistake.

Assuming that the disc contains vital classified information, gym employee Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand), and her co-worker Chad Feldheimer, played a convincingly dorky Brad Pitt. decide to sell the info to the highest bidder. Linda needs the money for a series of expensive plastic surgeries but her quest for beauty sets in motion an unanticipated string of deadly, comical disasters, as the two try to blackmail the ex-CIA agent for money.

Cast includes:

George Clooney
Brad Pitt
Tilda Swinton
Frances McDormand
John Malkovich
Richard Jenkins


Hig res previews can be seen here
Or for a full list containing various players types go here

From the masterminds of the Cohen Brothers (O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Raising Arizona, The Hudsucker Proxy,No Country For Old Men, etc)in associations with Focus pictures. a combination that leaves me anticipating this movie with extreme excitement. I will give a full review as soon as i get my greedy little hands on some advance screening passes.

Video: Where the Hell is Matt

Stride,

Please pay me to travel the world and dance.

Thank You,

Melanie

Photo: Matches

Video: Dirt Nasty - 1980

Yeah Bitch!

Badass: Futures

I started this post with all this intellegent bantor. It originally included my opinion on both Obama and McCain, shit on our failing economy and water powered cars. I was gonna write some college level aggregation of bullshit to fill the page. I guess I got bored with it quickly, because I felt zero regret when I ctrl+a’d half a page’s worth of nothingness with a large vocab and replaced it with this little ditty.

I’ve been stumbling a lot lately. Not like, walking down the street to your house I strip over my shoelace and do the dance of about-to-fall for 10 minutes while moving full speed towards the traffic at the nearest intersection and accidentally slipping in dog shit and landing on my fat ass stumbling, but stumbling. The Internet mesmerizes me.

Pixel Criminal mesmerizes me. Seriously bright, organic shapes and colors and gorgeous, almost feminine design.


So the pixel criminals, right. I see this blog they have, I read it, and I see someone who is making their life doing something that they love to do. And what am I doing? Selling airbrush tattoo systems to theme parks and FEC’s for Airtoo.

Sure its not the worse job ever, Its actually one of the best I’ve ever had, but it leaves me wanting more out of myself, like a teased lover.

So obviously, I’ve been seriously considering what to do about the future of my personal financial stability. Its very hard to predict what is going to happen to me in the course of my later years, and so many factors, economic stability, gar prices, foreign relations, that are bound to affect me, are beyond my control. So I’ve been giving serious thought about what I’m gong to do with this amazing brain and body that I was granted with for the rest of my days.

In the interim of these deep thoughts of mine, I find shit that is as awesome as NOLAF that im in love with and entertained by in equal parts and shit like File Magazine that tickles me in a sweet spot.

Anyways, here is a things to look forward to, in list format for the lazy:

· URL change – possible a domain name all my own?!?
· Awesome new layout – That I’ve been working on instead of working at work
· More links to cool shit
· More stories
· More poems
· More Delicious shit
· And maybe some pictures.


Sign Language - Found Matchbooks

And Now for More Fun:
New Web Pick
Strange Sculptures
Food Gawker
Graffiti Creator

Video: Raine Maida - Sex Love and Honey

Younger, I used to love Our Lady Peace. Older, Im finding that Raine Maida's solo work reminds me of Thom York's solo stuff. and I like it

Art: Something Russian

I dont know who the artist is, mostly because i can't read the page, but its awesome.



If you can read Russian, let me know. Taken from Here

Badass: Google Humor

Google Search

Search: WHO IS A FAILURE
Answer: President of the United States - George W. Bush

Search: French Military Victories
Im feeling lucky
Answer: Did you mean: french military defeats
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

Search: Find Chuck Norris
Answer: Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

GOOGLE Calculator
Question: Answer to Life, Universe and Everything
Answer: 42

Question: mass of the sun?
Answer: mass of the sun = 1.98892 × 1030 kilograms

Question: mass of the moon?
Answer: mass of the Moon = 7.36 × 1022 kilograms

Question: mass of the earth?
Answer: mass of Earth = 5.9742 × 1024 kilograms

Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn = 43

Question: what’s the speed of sound at sea level?
Answer: speed of sound at sea level = 340.29 m / s

Question: number of horns on a unicorn multiplied by the answer to life, the universe and everything furlongs in yoctometres
Answer: number of horns on a unicorn multiplied by the answer to life, the universe and everything furlongs = 8.449056 × 1027 yoctometers

Question: number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: number of horns on a unicorn = 1

Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything
Answer: the answer to life, the universe and everything = 42

Question: What’s the answer to life, the universe and everything multiplied by the speed of light divided by three teaspoons?
Answer: (the answer to life, the universe and everything multiplied by the speed of light) divided by (three US teaspoons) = 8.51523874 × 1014 m-2 s-1

Question: how many seconds in a decade?
Answer: 1 decade = 315 569 260 seconds

Question: 14 to binary Answer: 14 = 0b1110 Question: e^((pi)*i)+1
Answer: (e^(pi * i)) + 1 = 0

Question: 15th root of 1024 Answer:
15th root of 1 024 = 1.58740105

Question: what is the golden ratio
Answer: the golden ratio = 1.61803399

Question: 1 smoot in feet
Answer: 1 smoot = 5.58333333 feet

Question: 1 cubit in feet
Answer: 1 cubit = 1.5 feet

Question: 1 hand in feet
Answer: 1 hand = 0.333333333 feet

Question: 1 span in feet
Answer: 1 span = 0.75 feet

Question: 1 flemish ell in feet
Answer: 1 flemish ell = 2.25 feet

Question: 1 fathom in feet
Answer: 1 fathom = 6 feet

Question: the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn
Answer: 43

Google Picasa
Ctrl+Shift+Y
Teddy Bears

Google Maps
Pegman
Christmas - Pegman becomes a snowman
Halloween -Pegman dons a witch costume; on
Valentine’s Day, Pegman stands on a heart instead of his usual green circle; and whenever Pegman sets foot on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, California - tie-dye-shirted hippie.

Google Mail
GMAIL Spam Folder
If you go to your Spam Folder in Gmail, you’ll notice that where you might expect to see an ad of some type, you instead see a recipe that features Spam as the main ingredient. Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches, anyone? Or how about Spam Quiche? For other gastronomical options that feature the pink slab, keep checking your Gmail Spam box.

Google Search Engines

http://www.600673.com/

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/

Google Parodies
These search sites are not related to Google.

Google Gothic:
http://www.googoth.com/

Google Loco
http://www.googleloco.com
IE: Search so good, you don't even need to understand what you're looking for.

Recipe: Coconut Pineapple Upside Down Cake

Coconut Yellow Cake

2 cups all-purpose flour, stirred before measuring
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 tsp coconut extract
1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside. Cream sugar and butter in a large mixing bowl, beating until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add half of the flour mixture then half of the milk.
Add vanilla and coconut extract. Mix until blended; add remaining flour and milk and beat until smooth. Fold in the coconut.

For the Pineapple:

1 medium pineapple, chopped into chunks
1 cup of firmly packed dark brown sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter

Take brown sugar and butter and combine and melt in a saucepan on medium heat until sugar dissolves and the mixture is bubbly, 2-3 minutes. Pour mixture into a 10 inch diameter cake pan(that has been greased and floured)with 2 inch high sides. Arrange pineapple chunks in a single layer on top of the brown sugar mixture.
Pour batter over the the brown sugar mixture and pineapple.
Place cake middle of the oven and bake for 45 to 55 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pan on a rack for 15 minutes, run a thin knife around the edge, and invert the cake onto a plate.

News: New Look

Yes, total revamp. Really i got tired of the 'dots', and wanted something a little more me, I guess. Actually when i think about it, "Revamp" seems to be a common trend in my little happy life.

Video: Muscles - The Lake

scary movie + great song + muscles = awesome.

Music: Zero 7 - The Pageant of the Bizzare

Okay, so i download a lot of music from blogs and stuff, and occasionally, I catch up enough to spend a little bit of time on The Hypemachine to actually catch up on artists that I love that Blogs only hint to or provide me with remixes of.

Today, it was Zero 7, old personal favorites for downtime music, and what i found is an album that is as amazing as it is beautiful, as it is thoughtful, as it is versatile, as it is classic, as it is evolved. The album is The Garden, and let me tell you, I actually went as far as to purchase (yes give money for) several songs via itunes, and still plan on buying myself a physical copy, because its just that damn good.

However, I am greedy and believe in supporting the arts that deserve supporting my own way, and will not provide links. Instead I provide someone else's shoddy, homemade video for my favorite newly (legally) acquired song.

Hope you have enjoyed

Video: The Knife

The Knife - Heartbeats


Song:
The knife - we share our mothers health ratatat remix

T.G.I.F.

Poem: The Child and I

You and I are standing here
on the brink of all this emptiness.
You reach for my hand,
staring blank eyed, and expressionless into space
you ask me how I love so much
I tell you it is for the sinners
it is for those who just don’t know
the love can cure all the guilt they’ve created
I tell you I love because they don’t
because they wont
you look at me now and with those eyes
so big and wanting and itching for
the kind of knowledge a book cant give
you ask me how I give so much
I tell you its for the selfish
its for those who don’t know anything but taking
so I have to give for them
to keep a sort of proper balance amongst things
and because there’s just so much I can offer
and with that you smile
and I can tell you are amused by this
as much by my answers as by your questions
and you will continue to try to stump me
you tell me when I hate its with such passion
I tell you when I love it is the same
because without passion there is no conviction
and if Im going to test the waters
I might as well just dive right in
-but why are you so grounded
-because the birds have flight
because there are all those people
with heads so light they just don’t know
I keep mine too heavy to hold
because then I can compensate failure with thought
-and why are you so free?
-because its my only right
because I can only enjoy the sunlight
and the rain if I am free enough to love them
for the simplicity of their splendor
and not be prone to thinking it is too hot or too wet
-and how are you always so right?
-im not, we just think along the same lines
and Im just a little better at voicing the things you think
and compared to the all the wrong in the world
what I say just seems correct
but it has always been there to be spoken on
I just picked up the conversation where perception left off
-and how are you so beautiful?
I am only as beautiful as you want me to be
to some I am a threat
I’m the monster under their bed
I’m that nightmare you just cant wake up from
-but you are not
-not to you

Poem: why its me. why its you...

You, who takes me by the hand,
take my breath as well.
you, who makes humble my words
make feeble my actions
you, who I cannot understand
but love undeniably.
you, who haunts me,
flawless as you are,
simple and beautiful and
never around to hear me say it.
me, I say it then to the wind,
confess to tides that I love.
you, who is so amazing
I cannot express,
wrap around me in that kind of splendor
wrap me in a fever I cannot undress,
I cannot accept
one I cant control.
me, I take to crying
and you, in my mind which works endlessly,
take to the sky.
and me, as it sit here
baffled, thankful
can be nothing more than simple,
do nothing more than admire.
and me, walking, I
throw confessions into the wind
and hope that you, loving me as you do
do the same.
and wind, my faithful listener
you, who puts up with my rantings,
take my words with consideration
and do not lose a single one
or dilute a single emotion
for it is all real,
but I, a weak person
cannot admit that
as I would like to.

c. 2003
M.Gapany

Music: Ani Difranco - Parameters

thirty-three years go by
and not once do you come home
to find a man sitting in your bedroom
that is
a man you don't know
who came a long way to deliver one very specific message:
lock your back door, you idiot
however invincible you imagine yourself to be
you are wrong

thirty-three years go by
and you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
your breasts hang like a woman's
and you don't jump at shadows anymore
instead you may simply pause to admire
those that move with the grace of trees
dancing past streetlights
and you walk through your house without turning on lamps
sure of the angle from door to table
from table to staircase
sure of the number of steps
seven to the landing
two to turn right
then seven more
sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory
across your bedroom
and collapse with a sigh onto your bed
shoes falling
thunk thunk
onto the floor
and there will be no strange man
suddenly all that time sitting there
sitting there on what must be the prize chair
in your collection of uncomfortable chairs
with a wild look in his eyes
and hands that you cannot see
holding what?
you do not know

so sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation
that you are painfully slow to adjust
if only because
yours is not that genre of story
still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies
no bullets shattering glass
instead fear sits patiently
fear almost smiles when you finally see him
though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years
and now he has let himself in
and he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares
though you think you see, in your naivete
that he is empty handed
and this brings you great relief
at the time

new as you are, really, to the idea that
even after you've long since gotten used to the parameters
they can all change
while you're out one night having a drink with a friend
some big hand may be turning a big dial
switching channels on your dreams
until you find yourself lost in them
and watching your daily life with the sound off
and of course having cautiously turned down the flame under your eyes
there are more shadows around everything
your vision a dim flashlight that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse
your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead
presiding over your supposed repose
not really sleep at all
just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds
a clanking pipe
a creaking branch
the footfalls of a cat
all of this and maybe
the swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat
as you walk him step by step back to the door
having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea
soft leather, big feet, almond eyes
the kinds of details the police officer would ask for later
with his clipboard
and his pistol
in your hallway

...

Listen to this amazingly written song. Here it is in this here video:



...

somethings just amaze. Once I am able to find video of the girl who danced to this last night on So you think you can dance I will be adding it to this post, because my god was it an amazing performance.