Things you may have forgotten

With lives being as busy busy as they are now a days, I understand that its normal and expected for everyone to once in a while forget some things. You lose your keys in your purse, your cup always gets left somewhere in your house, you forget where you put that phone number or email address you jotted on a napkin, all things understandable.

But every so often, I start to notice that people are forgetting some of the more important things on a daily basis. Driving lessons, for example, have gone completely and totally out the window. Common courtesy, another one that's flown right out the door. The word 'thank you' has been replaced with 'sorry' on way too many occasions because some people just don't think. So, since we all know I tend to think far too much, I've gone ahead and not only simplified your life and lessened your mental burden, but also digitized all those life lessons you mother tried to feed you.

Since we're all only human (some are just better humans, right Darwin?) here are some things you may have forgotten:

1. A turning signal is NOT a portable metronome. It's purpose if far greater than merely being awesome when it falls in synch with your favorite Britney jam. In fact, when used as directed, your turning signal can, get this, let people know when you're turning. To attentive drivers, this is incredibly useful. Mostly because it keeps us from smashing out vehicle into the side of yours.
2. Dogs are not children. I don't care how cute your Boston Terrier looks dressed like a sailor, your dog is a dog. Given, some breeds shouldn't be exposed to certain conditions and need sweaters in the cold, now that's understandable. But your dog should never resemble Dorothy, an alligator or, um, a wizard?. And then people wonder why small breeds are hard to housebreak (cough:::revenge:::cough)
3. Not everyone likes your music, so someone explain to me the purpose of getting a speaker installed on the OUTSIDE of your vehicle. Let me ask you something: have you ever been to South or Central America? They have speakers on the outside of their cars there. They use them to announce that the mosquito spray vehicle is coming, so bring your pets inside, and to broadcast inaudible and barely comprehensible political messages into traffic. So, are you spreading the gospel of Pitbull? or just warning the masses of your approach?
4. Most people who open doors for you are not porters. Say thank you, or expect a door in your face.
5. Friends don't get paid for favors. I'm with Larry David on that one.
6. An employee is not a serf. If one were a serf, we would refer to that person as a serf. But we don't; wanna know why? Evolution. The human has evolved enough to understand that people are people regardless of status, wealth, color, or race. Where were you when all this happened? Probably off counting your money somewhere and not giving a shit.
   
7. The internet is not so vast that you can't be found. Most of the people on it know how you make the most of search algorithms. If you don't know what a "search algorithm" is then you shouldn't be trying to hide things online.
8. No one cares about you but you. Your mother tried to tell you this a lot. She did it nicely, telling you instead "You're not good enough for him" or "she doesn't deserve you". Stop trying to make friends, and make happiness, on your terms.

That's all I've got for you today, mostly because I too forget things.